Dear Santa, I’d like this to be an 18 please

I was reading the Empire website today, and they’ve got some nifty new Ghost Rider 2: Spirit of Vengeance posters to show off, so I thought I’d nick them and put them on my site:

I think they’re pretty darn sweet and I think this film looks extremely saggy – in a good way.  I haven’t seen the first Ghost Rider because while it was in cinemas I was too busy paying my council tax and having sex with yat and punching that arcade punch machine down the bowling alley, so I wasn’t at all interested in watching it.

This one however, I am interested in.  That bit where he pissed fire in the trailer looks quality.  It reminds me of a time I was out with a girl I liked, we were sitting in a bar and suddenly there was a bit of commotion behind us.  We turned around and the barman was standing on the bar pouring a flaming stream of alcohol into a cup and everyone was cheering – it was pretty impressive.  Unfortunately, the first thing that came into my mind was “That’s what it looks like when I go for a piss.”

I laughed in my head but then thought, “Don’t say that out loud, you’re trying to impress this girl you idiot.”

“But actually, it might be quite funny if you said it – it is a good joke.”

“No, actually don’t – it’s disgusting.”

“No, do.  It’s funny.”

“Don’t be a dick.”

“I’m not a dick. I won’t say it.”

“Phew, glad we’ve got that cleared up then.”

So I turned back to her and said “THAT’S WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE WHEN I GO FOR A PISS.”  I waited for the laughter but it didn’t come.  She just screwed up her face and said “That’s disgusting.”

The audience in my head were pissing themselves though.  That’s all that really matters.

Anyway what the fuck I hope this is an 18.  I also hope he shits fireballs.

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