Rolling Thunder (1977)

I’ve said this many times before – I LOVE REVENGE FILMS.  I’ve never seen a revenge film that I haven’t liked and I doubt I ever will.  Someone getting fucked over by some fucks then fucking over whichever fucks fucked them over, is fucking brilliant. It also helps that many, many revenge films are 18s – this is because it is against the law to nut about with a hatchet dashing people across the face with it just because they called you a prick that one time.  You know, they don’t want the kids copying that kind of shit.

So, to Rolling Thunder – it was an 18 and it was a revenge film so I knew I’d like it.  It was made in the ’70s, which is cutting it a bit close to the bone, but I didn’t mind.  What I mean by this is that everyone agrees that the ’70s was when films started getting good.  I can state with a steadfast and entirely valid reasoning, that pretty much any film made before the ’70s is an udder full of cocks and bollocks.  There are exceptions of course (Russ Meyer for example), but in the general majority of cases, movies made in the ’60s and before, can suck my stonking tonk bonk-on and fuck off.  But luckily, this was made in 1977 so it’s ok.

Rolling Thunder is about this hardcase called Major Charles Rane (better than your name) who comes back from the war, after being tortured at a POW camp, and finds that his wife has been sleeping with someone else.  It’s not a good day.  But soon it gets a bit better because he’s given a big bloody box of silver dollars and a sweet red whip by the town, who celebrate him as a true hero.  So basically, he gets to cruising about town giving lifts to this mint broad with pointy nipples AND YES SHE DOES WANT YOU TO LOOK AT HER TITS BECAUSE SHE ISN’T WEARING A BRA SO STOP SAYING ‘EYES UP HERE’ AND COMPLAINING TO YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT HOW SHALLOW I AM BECAUSE I’M DOING EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO. I AM SHALLOW YES, BUT…YOU…YEAH…STOP LOOKING AT MY DICK.

So fuck his wife, he’s got this naughty little war groupie who wants to rinse his nads off, therefore he’s slightly more happy now.  But then some absolute dipsticks break into his house and start torturing him because they want the silver dollars.  Then they kill his wife and kid and fuck off with the money.  Oh yeah and they also stick his hand in the garbage disposal unit.  OH AND he was wearing his Mickey Mouse underpants so when the ambulance men get there they all see them and laugh behind his back.  So he’s really bloody wound up.

But don’t worry guys, Major Charles Rane is a stone-cold thunderous bad-ass who will not take an ounce of shit from anyone without there being consequences.  And lucky for him, the doctors have fitted a massive hook where his hand used to be – this’ll come in handy when he needs to stab Mexican men through the hand with it.

So he leaves the hospital, picks up the girl with the mega-sticky-outy-70s-tits and they go off to Mexico to merk the pricks that nicked his scratch and killed his family.  Shit hits the hook big time and even a young Tommy Lee Jones gets involved – he’s Rane’s old army buddy, and they team up for a climactic showdown of arsehole-guttering proportions.  IT’S MINT.

I love this this kind of shit (see first paragraph), and Rolling Thunder is a prime cut of the highest quality.  Because it was made in the ’70s, it was part of that ‘don’t give a fuck’ mentality that permeated throughout a lot of the films made in that decade, and it doesn’t pull any punches.  They go like sodding stink, sparking pricks left, right and centre – with guns, hooks, fists, and in one scene that only occurred in my head, a pneumatic drill attached to his penis.

William Devane brings the rain as Rane, and he’s insane – absolutely brilliant in his role, I completely bought his character 100%.  I was about to say I hadn’t seen him in anything before, but then I checked imdb and saw that he was in Hollow Man and Marathon Man, both of which I have seen.  I’d like to watch them again though, because he’s already one of my favourite actors and I can only remember seeing him in one film.  Tommy Lee Jones is top-class too, in a very early role and rare 18 – what a shame, his career started with such promise.

Rolling Thunder had everything I want in a revenge film, mainly:

  • Revenge
  • Revenge
  • Revenge
  • REVENGE
  • Revenge
  • Revenge
  • Cars
  • Revenge
  • Revenge
  • No bras

I highly recommend it for fans of revenge films, but also for fans of not being a cunt.

I give it 8 18s out of 10.

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2 Responses to Rolling Thunder (1977)

  1. Mike Michalak says:

    Great Commentary on the flick, i Agree almost completely except for the fact that all movies made before 70s suck, this is probably the most completely ignorant statement I’ve herd in a while, I’m just glad you at-least said there are exceptions so you must have some brain cells still lighting up. Why not say that all music before the 70s is trash too because its basically the same kind of statement, Yea Fuck Mozart, Duke Ellington, The Beatles and Hendrix, and while we’re at lets throw in all art as well VanGogh, Old Leonardo and Michael Angelo don’t have shit on Andy Warhol’s Soup Can or that great god awful corprate boxy geometric crap from the 80s that makes you wana puke. Its true that the 70s was the era that started to focus on realism in films but this wasn’t the golden age of film by any means alot of films in the 70s fuckin suck awful and are boring as hell, but I think you just haven’t seen enough good old films because your right there is a lot of boring crap as well as a pile of awful crappy super gay musicals but you can say that about any decade (except for the musicals they were much more popular back then.) But come on you can go back to the turn of the century and find good stuff. How about the gangster classics “Little Caesar” with Edward G. Robinson from the 1930s, or the original Scarface based on the life, rise, and fall of Al Capone who even signed off on the film saying he liked it; except for his death in the end and the fact that he kills his sister and best friend (this was added to show how crime doesn’t pay and this was kept in the Pacino version as well.) (Its amazing how many similar scenes there are in the Pacino version and the Black and White 1932 original, how true to original the newer version was, they just changed the setting and the race of scarface from Italian to Cuban, & liquor to cocaine, scenes like the billboard that reads “The world is yours” (it’s on a Blimp in the “Miami” version) Scarface sees out his window of his new estate in Chicago after murdering his boss and stealing his wife are almoust identical. What about The Wild One 1953 with Marlon Brando, Rebel without a cause, or Lawrence of Arabia 1962, Horror classics like Night of the Living Dead, the Amazing works by Vincent Price like House of Wax 1953, House of Usher 1960, The Haunted Palace 1963, and Poe’s Masque of the Red Death. John Wayne in the orginal True Grit, and lets not forget the spaghetti westerns like The good the Bad the Ugly 1966, i could name 10 films in this category alone & I could go on and on in every category. Monty Pythons Like how about some war movies The Dirty Dozen, The guns of Navarone, the Great Escape, or what about the Junkie classic ‘The Man with the Golden Arm” from 1955 where Frank Sinatra plays a drummer out of jail and just can’t stop shooting up heroin and being a card shark for the mob. So come on man get off it, with out these films half everything out now wouldn’t exists because they are all remakes of the originals. I suggest you do your homework and get the attention span it takes to watch a movie where you don’t have explosions, dead bodies, and tits popping out in your face every 30 seconds. All I’m saying is some art is Timeless its always gona be the best and have value, and Im not some crazy film nut or old dude all this stuff came out before I was born, but in 30 years when some asshole does a remake of PulpFiction your gona say what the fuck now this sucks, sometimes it works but thats when Tarantino does it like Django was remake of a spaghetti Western film by an Italian director called the “Mercenary” from 1968 with similar changes to what they did with scarface which also was a great film. So wake up to some truth and stop wankin to porn on the internet and expand your mind with some timeless art from a different generation you might actual gain some insight and learn something and a few more of those brain cells might start flickering on.

  2. ionlywatch18s says:

    I will NEVER stop wanking to porn on the internet

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