I was vaguely aware of the American TV series Wilfred starring Elijah Wood, and even though Wood’s been in some mint 18s (Green Street, Sin City), I still associate him with that corn-filled sod of muck about ringpieces and goblins with big feet but small cocks that he was in, so I don’t normally watch his stuff. However, I did know that it was a US remake of an original Australian comedy TV series. Regardless, they both looked shit because if I wanted to watch a show about grown men in furry suits then I’d watch Teletubbies. Although of course I would never watch Teletubbies because it’s not an 18. So as it turns out, I would find it hard to watch anything about grown men in furry suits because the general majority of them are not 18s.
BUT THEN I ATE MY FUCKING HAT BECAUSE I FOUND OUT THE AUSSIE WILFRED WAS AN 18.
So I watched both series and I bloody loved both of them.
In a nutsack, Wilfred is about this bloke who moves in with his new girlfriend and her dog. Only he sees the dog as a bloke in a dog suit, and he talks to it. It’s a brilliantly simple idea and although it doesn’t work properly in many instances, it doesn’t matter because it is fucking wicked (I have also said this about my penis before). Let me introduce you to the three main characters:
Adam: Adam’s a bit of a wet-wipe – he’s got this non-existent job as a media monitor (someone who finds out what people on the web are saying about you) and doesn’t make any money. He’s average looking and is a full-on push-over. He’s probably got a mole on his dick as well. However, despite his flaws and cock-mole, he’s a very lovable guy and you’re always rooting for him.
Wilfred: He’s a right old furry twat and he hates Adam to begin with. He’s a selfish, misogynistic, greedy and vulgar tosser who loves getting pissed and shagging females (he should write a film blog). For most of the series you really hate him, but you do grow to appreciate his shortcomings as it progresses.
Sarah: Now I’m not sure if this was deliberate, but Sarah is a bit of quince in this. I could never go out with her because, aside from me being way out of her league, she’s also a pernickety, moaning bore-squat who picks on Adam at every opportunity and flirts with some colossal rectum-sprays right in front of his face. Either way, I can’t really see many audience members siding with her in any of the arguments. However, she does spend the majority of two episodes completely naked and you can see her pert fronks and bald punce and everything, so LET HER OFF OK?
Basically, there’s this two-way one-upmanship ting going on between Wilfred and Adam as they compete for Sarah’s affections, all while Sarah is completely unaware that her boyfriend is a seriously mentally ill nutcase who talks to dogs.
OR IS HE?
At first, I just assumed Adam was a few strokes short of a wank, but then Wilfred does a few particular things that only a bloke in a dog suit could do, that end up affecting people outside of just his and Adam’s microcosm. This threw me off to start with, but as it gets more and more extreme as the series goes on, you merely come to terms with the fact that there is no logic at play at all. Anywhere. None of it makes any sense. But it doesn’t matter because there’s loads of swearing and it’s really funny.
The main reason this is an 18 is because Wilfred has a potty mouth of the highest quality. He introduces some choice cuts of Aussie slang, whilst also utilising the old classics, with particular emphasis on the c(unt) word. Which is always refreshing.
If there are any down points, it’s mainly that to start with, Wilfred is such a chunking pillock that it gets quite frustrating. Adam is such a nice guy and Wilfred shits on him at every opportunity, which I didn’t like. Still, his character does progress and change as the story carries on, so it gets better further down the line.
All in all though, it’s sodding hilarious – it’s a brillo premise and although it may not sound it, it’s actually really dark too. It goes to some dodgy places, and the theme music is haunting in the extreme, but it really is genuinely poster-quote-out-loud funny.
Also, I can sympathise with Adam on a personal level because that fucking prick dog that lives next door keeps saying I’ve got a shit haircut and a small dick whenever I walk past the garden. I’m gonna cut its fucking bollocks off with a bread knife tomorrow though so let’s see who’s got the shit haircut then? Fucking spigging dog drongo shithead.
I give series one of Wilfred 7 18s out of 10.
I give series two of Wilfred 8 18s out of 10.