Writing about my favourite horror remake (The Blob) the other day, reminded me of my second favourite horror remake of all time – The Thing. The other ‘The (single syllable word)’ horror remake that I like is The Fly. But back to The Thing.
The Thing is a remake of the 1951 12 (pfffft) The Thing From Another World and it concerns a group of blokes at a remote Antarctic outpost getting attacked by a shapeshifting alien. Hate it when that happens.
Everything is going fine on this outpost until the dog’s head splits open and a giant man-eating flower bursts through its chest and starts eating the other dogs;
“THIS DOG’S GOT A MOTHERFUCKING SPLITTING HEADACHE AND THAT FLOWER’S GOT SOME SERIOUS POWER. EVERY DOG HAS ITS DAY.”
Then things go from bad to worse because THE THING starts disguising itself as humans and playing mean tricks on everyone like putting cling film over the toilet bowl (I think) and lighting dog shits on fire, ringing the front doorbell and running away (again, if my memory serves me correctly). One thing I know for sure, is that it starts making people’s chests grow teeth and legs come out of their severed heads;
“THIS GUYS GOT SOMETHING TO GET OFF HIS CHEST – AND IT AIN’T A RASH. THAT MAN’S HEADING IN THE WRONG DIRECTION – HE’S LEGGING IT STRAIGHT TO HELL.”
Basically, Kurt Russell has to sort everything out. Luckily he’s Kurt Russell™ so he’s in with a fighting chance. He’s also got a massive beard in which to store chewits just in case he gets hungry out in the cold whilst hiding from THE THING.
It’s my favourite John Carpenter (Halloween (18, seen), Christine (18, seen), They Live (18, seen), Body Bags (18, need), Vampires (18, seen)) film, because it’s got the most upside-down-spider-heads in it. Good enough reason I think you’ll agree.
Anyway, if you fancy seeing what’s been described above. Check the film out before the stupid prequel comes out in 2011/12 and ruins everything.
I give The Thing a thingtastic 9 18s out of 10.