So I never saw Judge Dredd with Sylvester Stallone because there were these pube things growing just above my penis and I had to do something about them sharpish. Everyone said it was shit anyway, so I know I’m not missing out on anything.
However, when I was a precocious, loud child I picked up 2000AD now and again from my local newsagents, along with my weekly batch of condoms and whisky. In that comic, one of my favourite strips was always Judge Dredd, and I also bought a Judge Dredd Vs Predator graphic novel that I quite enjoyed. Still, I’d never found any other media to satiate my mid-lust for Mega-City One. They made a computer game (Dredd vs. Death) but that was not an 18 so I reverted back to tending to my pubes instead – it was like a jungle down there, it made me wonder how I didn’t fucking chunder.
But I guess my wait is over, because someone told me the other day that the new Karl Urban starring Judge Dredd film – Dredd – is going to be an 18.
I nearly spat out my own dick. I was (and still am) extremely excited about this. Particularly after I saw this:
That looks juicier than my sweaty gooch right now. I’ve not seen shit like that ever – it looks wicky sicky pricky.
Of course if it ends up being a 15 then that clip is the FUCKING SHITTEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN AND I’M GOING TO FLIPPING PUNCH ITS COCK OFF ANY MINUTE NOW.