I wrote a fucking song about Sudden Death

Van Damme Is In A Film Called Sudden Death

I’M A BIG LEGEND AND I LOVE VAN DAMME
I LIKE HIS KICKS THEY GO WHAM BAM
HIS FILMS ARE WICKED, THEY ARE HYPE
AND IF YOU LIKE THEM TOO THEN WE SHOULD SKYPE
SUDDEN DEATH IS ONE OF THE BEST
WHEN I WATCH IT I HAVE TO WEAR A VEST
COS I GET EXCITED AND START TO SWEAT
PEOPLE SAY THAT SNAKE IS DROWNING, CALL A VET
DON’T WORRY THOUGH,IT’S JUST MY SWEATY DICK
BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT, BACK TO THE FLICK
VAN DAMME BRINGS THE HEAT – HE’S A FIREMAN
IN CHARGE OF A STADIUM THAT COMES UNDER FIRE, MAN
LUCKILY HE’S A FUCKING HARD TWAT
SO SOON BAD GUYS ARE HITTING THE MAT
LIKE ONE WHO’S DRESSED AS A GIANT PENGUIN
A FIGHT ENSUES AND VAN DAMME GETS A PENG WIN
THE BIG BAD IS PLAYED BY POWERS BOOTHE
HE’S GOT A LENG NAME AND HE’S WELL SMOOTH
SHAME HE DIDN’T BANK ON VAN DAMME BEING THERE
SO HE GETS WELL AGGS AND PULLS OUT HIS HAIR
COS HIS BOMBS JEAN-CLAUDE IS DIFFUSING
AMIDST ALL OF THE HENCHMEN BRUISING
HE’S PRETTY WORRIED THAT HE’S GONNA LOSE
SO OUT OF HIS BUM ARE COMING POOS
YOU CAN ALL GUESS WHAT HAPPENS AT THE END
SO I’LL LEAVE IT THERE, MY FRIEND
BESIDES, ALL THIS RHYMING IS SENDING ME BARMY
UP MY ARSE I’VE JUST STUCK A PEPERAMI
I’M GONNA GO NOW COS I’M A DRAWING A BLANK
SEE YA LATER, GONNA GO HAVE A

WANK

Screamed to the tune of “Van Damme is in a Film Called Sudden Death”

van-damme-31

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