Curse Of Chucky (2013)

Curse-of-Chucky-CoverLook, obviously I haven’t seen all of the Chucky movies, because SOME OF THEM ARE FUCKING 15S AREN’T THEY? However, I have seen all the 18 ones and Bride Of Chucky is fucking reet good ain’t it? It’s funny, gory and if I remember correctly, there are some norks in it. There are also some dolls having sex, which is a type of sex I am very familiar with, so there’s that too. Whoopee whoo.

Now I was worried that Curse Of Chucky might be a 15, what with Seed Of Chucky being one, but luckily it wasn’t. I mean that was seriously lucky, because I saw the film at Frightfest before I even knew what certificate it was. If it had been a 15 then that would have meant that I’d watched a 15 and the only logical and sensible reaction to that news would be to rip my bollocks off and post them to myself and when they came through the letterbox throw them out the fucking window.

But hey girls! I’ve still got my awesome bollocks! Curse Of Chucky is an 18! PIAOW PIAOW PIAOW! But that’s not the only good news – the other good news is that Curse Of Chucky is GREAT. It’s funny, gory and if I remember correctly, there are some norks in it. No doll sex though. Probably a good thing that, I’m trying to wean myself off that shit – it’s bad for my heart. It scares the shit out of me when they pop.


Anyway, Curse Of Chucky is a return to the ‘scary’ roots of the franchise, but obviously I can’t tell you if it’s as scary as the original because I don’t live in a swamp and poo in my hand and eat it. Either way, Curse Of Chucky isn’t that scary, but then not much fucking scares me anymore. Apart from moths obviously.

What Curse Of Chucky is though, is funny, gory and if I remember correctly, there are some norks in it. It’s not an out-and-out comedy like the Bride but it’s got its humourous bits – mainly everything that Chucky says. He hasn’t lost his foul mouth. He also hasn’t lost his fucking flair for creative kills – he gets proper murkup inna di place pon this film.

I won’t ruin the death scenes for you, but let’s just say they’re pretty fucking cool, Chucky’s not messing about. But it’s not all about that – there’s a lot more to the film. Firstly, Fiona Dourif as the wheelchair-bound receiver of Chucky in the mail, is brilliant. It’s also weird when Chucky is screaming at her and trying to kill her, because Chucky is voiced by her real-life Dad. Little fact for you there.

There’s also a bunch of nods and a big twist that point back to previous films in the franchise BUT I WON’T RUIN THEM BECAUSE I’M NOT A FART-DOING DUNCE. All you need to know is that it’s bloody great.

Oh and if I remember correctly, there are some norks in it.

I give it 8 18s out of 10.


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One Response to Curse Of Chucky (2013)

  1. Mandi G says:

    Awesome read can’t wait to see the movie tonight

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