Frightfest: Are They 18s?


As you all know, it’s Frightfest coming up in August, and obviously I’m going. OBVIOUSLY. Why wouldn’t I? Where else can you watch bare decent horror films and then also go for a swift bang in the bogs in the interim? Yes, ONE other place – my house. Well, flat. Well, shed. Well, my mate’s shed.

However, and for some reason I can’t quite fathom, sometimes they show films which aren’t 18s. This blows my tiny little knob – it’s insane. Luckily, they do quite well in showing a bunch of genuinely good 18s, too. So what I thought I’d do is do a bit of research to┬átry and find out which ones are 18s and which ones aren’t so that then you know which ones to go and see and which ones to hurl faeces at.

As I find out about more, I’ll update the list, obviously.


No known 18s.


Main Screen

The Green Inferno – This is an 18. Decent. Contains strong gory violence, a bit like one of my Saturday morning turds.

Discovery Screen 2

Wolf Creek 2 – Big time 18, and also one that looks fucking amazing. Almost as amazing as one of my Saturday morning turds.


No known 18s.


Discovery Screen 2

A Nightmare On Elm Street – Classic 18. Love it. Mainly because I like having nightmares, especially the ones where I go into the kitchen and open the fridge up and there aren’t any Cheestrings in there. Those ones are the best because when I wake up I know that if I go into the kitchen and open the fridge up there will DEFINITELY be Cheestrings in there.

Nekromantik – 18. As of only recently too, what with it being unavailable for years and banned in Germany and all that. It’s about people having sex with dead bodies which doesn’t sound like my idea of a good time though. The closest I’ve got to that is having sex with a dead hand. My hand, specifically. I’d been sitting on it for an hour – I like to do these things properly.


No known 18s on Monday


OK LOOK, when I started this article I wasn’t really thinking about the fact that it’s a film festival and most of the films are brand new so won’t have been classified yet. What I’ve done is written a pointless article. LEAVE ME ALONE AND FUCK OFF OK? AT LEAST I’M TRYING.

This is as embarrassing as that time I got caught shagging my dead hand whilst having a Saturday morning turd in my mate’s shed.

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