DVD Special Features
A Few years ago, Land of the Dead came out in cinemas. It was about zombies so I wanted to see it. However, it was a 15 so I sat at home drawing pictures of dicks instead.
But then it came out on DVD and it was an 18. “Amazing” I thought, “It says director’s cut on it, it must be much better now, better watch it.” So I bought it and watched it. I even quite liked it – it was George A. Romero’s last good zombie film. But then something happened which threw my brain into overload.
I was browsing the BBFC website (checking for upcoming 18s) when I noticed Land of the Dead, which I then clicked to find out more. What greeted me was a sight that should never have to be experienced by anyone – it still said it was a 15.
OH DEAR GOD FUCK NO I’VE WATCHED A 15.
So why was there an 18 on the DVD cover? How had the bastards tricked me? Well, it turns out the certificate on the cover has to reflect everything on the disc – not just the film. So if there’s something else on the disc (for example, contained within the special features) then the whole disc has to be upgraded to reflect that.
And lo and behold, there was a special feature consisting entirely of zombies eating guts, which had caused the lie on the cover. I had watched a 15 and there was nothing I could do about it. In the end I sellotaped a dildo to each hand and ran down the street punching anyone who I reckoned had seen Land of the Dead. It was fun, but it didn’t make up for it.
From now on, I always check the BBFC website for sneaky tricks like this. I don’t like to look like a fool. Unless I’m doing it on purpose (i.e dildoes).