It’s time for a new feature here at I Only Watch 18s – People I Like. Basically, I’ll pick someone that I like – actor, director, producer etc – and talk about how much I like them and the 18s that they’ve been in. There’ll be some recognisable faces along the way, but hopefully, I’ll be able to introduce some of you to people that you’ll end up stalking and/or having sex with.
This week, the person that I like is Scott Adkins. He’s a 34 year old legend from Sutton Coldfield, who is amazing at martial arts. And when I say amazing, I mean AMAZING. See below:
This is the reason I like him (but also because his body is uncannily similar to mine). Here’s a quick rundown of his most important 18s and what I think of them:
The Tournament – I have just ordered this film and so haven’t seen it yet. It’s about a load of assassins who meet in a town in England and have to kill each other. As you can see, it’s obvious why I have just ordered this.
Ninja – This is about a western bloke who grows up in a Japanese ninja clan (bit like me) and has to go and find some other ninja who’s stolen some chest or some shit. He fights loads of people in it though. For that reason I bloody love it.
Stag Night – This is about some cannibal type wankers on a subway trying to kill some strippers. Again, good plot so I decided to watch it. However, last night I only got halfway through because I fell asleep – however, this is by no means a bad sign, as I often fall asleep in very good films. It’s just I’m always tired, what with lifting the heaviest weights in the gym and having sex with a different girl every night of the week. You know the drill.
Pit Fighter – This is about a man who beats people up in a pit. The man is not Scott Adkins though, because he plays some bloke who doesn’t fight anyone – therefore his role is not one of my favourites. The film meanwhile, is average at best.
Unleashed – This is an amazing Jet Li film about a weird bloke who kills people when Bob Hoskins takes his metal collar off (bit like me). At one point he fights Scott Adkins in a pit. Unfortunately Jet Li wins (well unfortunately for Scott Adkins anyway).
Special Forces – This is an early Adkins gem. He stars as an SAS soldier who’s really good at fighting and beats loads of people up. There are also lots of explosions in the film. THIS FILM HAS IT ALL.
Scott Adkins has been in some big films too, like The Bourne Ultimatum and X-Men Origins: Wolverine (he plays that Ryan Reynolds Deadpool-but-not-type-thing at the end) but if you’ve seen either of these films then you’re not playing on my Sega Saturn anymore.
Please buy some of Scott Adkins films please because I want him to be a massive star because he is amazing, and almost as good-looking and skillful at martial arts as me.