Today’s person that I like is Brian Yuzna. Who? BRIAN YUZNA. Who’s Brian Yuzna when he’s at home then? Well, he’s a director who’s made a load of sweet 18s, that’s who. I’ve liked every Brian Yuzna film that I’ve seen – and if that’s not a cast-in-gold grade-A recommendation then buggered if I know what is.
Here’s my rundown of his most important 18s:
Society – You should already know how good this film is. If not, check here.
Bride of Re-Animator – This is the amazing sequel to the even-amazinger original Re-Animator (18, seen). So even though the first one is better, this one is still a piece of nice meat. It’s about a mad scientist called Herbert West who decides that instead of watching X-Factor he’d rather try and make the perfect woman out of dead body parts. Obviously she comes alive and things go wrong. Which is weird, because when I made a woman out of dead body parts, she was pretty normal – bit awkward at dinner parties, but a nice enough girl.
Return of the Living Dead III – This is about a bloke whose girlfriend dies in a motorcycle crash, so he uses a special gas to reanimate her. But ooops, she now likes putting glass into her skin and threading barbed wire through her face, oh and eating people. This film is really good (probably the best of the Return of the Living Dead series, or at least on par with the original), and it also stars Melinda Clarke (Marissa’s mum from The O.C. – or so I’ve heard) and she gets naked a lot.
Necronomicon – This is one of those anthology films – four stories by different directors all based around the ‘necronomicon’ or ‘Book of the Dead’. Yuzna directs two of these, one is the ‘wraparound’ segment that basically sets up the rest, and the other is Whispers. I remember playing charades at a summer camp when I was younger and doing Necronomicon for my film. The mime consisted of me pretending to open a book and screaming – obviously nobody got it. They thought I’d made the film up. IDIOTS.
The Dentist – This is about a mad dentist. It is really good. He pulls people’s teeth out though, so don’t watch it if you’ve just had your teeth pulled out by a mad dentist because it’ll probably bring back some painful memories.
The Dentist 2 – This is an even more extreme version of The Dentist. Again, don’t watch if an even more extreme mad dentist pulled your teeth out in a really extreme way. Not a good idea.
Faust: Love of the Damned – I think the below clip will be enough to convince you to see this movie (this clip is really gross though so don’t watch it at work or anything. AND THERE ARE TITS IN IT)
Beyond Re-Animator – Again, all that’s needed is the following clip (also not suitable for work):
Rottweiler – This is about a robot dog. When it came out on DVD in the UK, the distributors tried to send me a copy – it never came. So I asked for another one. That one never came. Either they went to the wrong address or the postman just really likes Brian Yuzna movies. Probably the latter.
If you don’t want to see at least one of these films then your invite to my birthday party is going in the fucking bin.