Last weekend I ran about in the snow with my boxers pulled up into a thong for an extended period – such is the life of a relentless attention seeker. However, I am now paying for that because I am ill.
But all is not lost.
Being ill can be a good thing, because it means I have an excuse to stay indoors and watch lots of 18s. This has been something of a tradition – every time I am ill, an 18 will make me feel better. Luckily, I have just received The Tournament and Inside – who needs medicine when you’ve got 18s eh?
The only downside is that I’m more prone to nightmares when I’m ill. Although it probably doesn’t help that I watch the movies immediately before bed with Clockwork Orange style clamps holding my eyes open, before eating a whole block of cheese and then putting on repeat a CD of Vincent Price relentlessly repeating “Alligators are going to eat you” at full volume.