18 related anecdote no. 26

The Ideal Way To Consume An 18 Rated DVD: Action

Action films make great 18s – Commando, Die Hard, Drive, Tango and Cash, Out for Justice, the list goes on.  So it’s essential that they are viewed with the appropriate amount of respect.

Firstly, no girls allowed.  This is a men only arena.  Unless of course you are a girl that likes action movies.  In which case – girls allowed. 

Once you have gathered your audience, or as I like to call them, your mercenaries, you need to prepare your viewing space.  I find camouflage works well, along with leaves and branches to create a jungle feel – this will emulate the feeling of being a hidden sniper, with the television your target.  In this case, it is probably wise to dress up in army gear, to fully complete the experience.

Also, no snacks apart from frozen yorkies, as these are the toughest to eat.  You can try burnt pizza if you want, but this doesn’t taste very nice.

Finally, wear eye protection for you will have rigged a paintball gun to fire in the face of each viewer at ten minute intervals – this will further recreate the feeling of intense warfare.

Finally, if you are entirely committed to the role, upon the film’s conclusion, you must eject the DVD using your dick and eat it.

Next time: ADULT

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