The person that I like today (well, all the time) is one of the most underrated actors of our time – Mark Dacascos. Unfortunately, he’s probably most famous for being on Dancing With The Stars in America, but before all that rubbish he was in some absolutely amazing films, including my favourite of all time – Drive.
Now, let me take you on a journey through this fantastic actor’s catalogue of amazing 18s:
American Samurai – For some strange reason I haven’t yet seen this. Which is weird seeing as it’s got bloody Mark Dacascos in it, but it’s also directed by Sam Firstenberg (18s like Ninja III: The Domination (seen) and American Ninja (seen)) and it stars David Bradley (18s like American Ninja 3: The Blood Hunt (seen the first half but couldn’t bring myself to finish it). ALSO IT’S CALLED AMERICAN SAMURAI WHICH IS A VERY GOOD TITLE IN MY OPINION.
Kickboxer 5 – Again, and I’m sorry to disappoint, but I haven’t seen this yet. Which is stupid because Kickboxer (18, seen) truly is one of my favourite films, and the other sequels with Sasha Mitchell are kissing well mint too. So surely this has to be one of the best seeing as Mark Dacascos is in it – don’t worry though, as soon as I’ve seen it, I’ll let you know. Probably with some sort of video of me puking everywhere or something.
Crying Freeman – This one is about an assassin who cries every time he kills someone (lightweight). Dacascos plays the crybaby, and engages in such activities as doing the splits whilst wearing tighty whities, having sex with women, shooting people, slicing people with samurai swords, crying, shooting people with grenade launchers, hiding, looking, crying, running, crying, jumping, having a floppy haircut and crying. For these reasons alone it is worth watching. But then again it’s also directed by Christophe Gans (Necronomicon (18, seen)) and it stars Masaya Katô (FROM DRIVE (18, seen millions of times what what)).
Sanctuary – This is one of those ones where there’s a priest doing Church stuff but he’s actually an ex-CIA nutcase/legend. Basically, he shoots loads of people, and being Mark Dacascos, he does it well cool, like. Also, he lives right next to a busy train line, so you know, you can relate to his character if you live near a busy train line.
Armageddon – Don’t be so fucking stupid you idiot. Not the one with Bruce Willis and Morgan Freeman as the president (I think) – why would I ever cover a 12?? A 12? Yeesh. No – this one is a stone-cold 18 yo. It’s also got Rutger ‘fucking’ Hauer in it (18s like The Hitcher (seen), Blind Fury (seen), Split Second (haven’t seen, but just got so will see soon), Sin City (seen) and that dream I had where me and him were conjoined twins with guns for arms and had to fight a load of flying zombies that had stolen our clothes so that we could get back in time to go to a GCSE maths exam we hadn’t revised for (18, seen, recurring)).
Boogie Boy – Now, I may have said before that I will enjoy any film with Mark Dacascos in, but I’m afraid Boogie Boy proves the unfortunate exception.
MAINLY BECAUSE IT WAS SHIT.
Drive – THIS FILM IS SO GOOD IT’S FRUSTRATING. If you haven’t (WHY HAVEN’T YOU?) read why I think this, then you can here.
So there are a few movies to be getting on with. Mark Dacascos really does deserve some bigger roles (although he has starred in some high profile releases like Cradle to the Grave and Brotherhood of the Wolf but they were both 15s so I stayed in and typed ’15’ on all the calculators in my house before destroying them with hammers) because he’s an amazing actor and martial artist.
Still, he’s still got Iron Chef America to pay the bills.