Hey everyone, welcome to the funniest website on planet Earth. It genuinely is – I’m not lying, people have told me this. Well I’ve told me this anyway, in the mirror, whilst naked. And when I say ‘told’ I mean ‘screamed’. Either way, somebody said it once, and that’s all you should be worrying about.
Now, down to my modus operandi. Basically, I love movies (amongst other things of course, such as sexy ladies, cheese and farting in the shower and wafting it up into my shit-steam-eating grin), particularly 18s, nay, only 18s. They’re the best type of film – why would I waste time fannying about with a PG, or I dread to think, with a 12A? Exactly, I wouldn’t.
I’ve seen an extremely hefty amount of 18s, so I know my shit too, buster. So I felt the need to share my knowledge with the Internet (it’s probably pretty tired of me sharing my dick pics – it overloads the servers or some shit) and I felt the best way to do that was to set up this here website.
On it you will find movie reviews, previews, mega-posts (like my yearly Oscars countdown), stupid features (like my list of cinema’s greatest twats), exclusive posters, childish drawings and other assorted miscellany. The one thing you need to know is that it’s all fucking hilarious, as that naked man in the bathroom told you before. I mean screamed at you before.
So have fun exploring the best website on the whole wide surf web. And if you need to contact me for any reason, then click the ‘contact’ tab up top because I can’t be fucked to write it all out again isn’t it. Or you can get at me on Twitter: @ionlywatch18s. I like to call it ‘Shitter’ – that’s the kind of satire you can expect on this site.