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Spring Breakers (2013) (Guest Review From My Penis)

kinopoisk.ruHey guys, I Only Watch 18s’ dick here.You may have heard of me, I know he likes to go on and on about me, but I’m not that great! Ok, I am. I’m the fucking best oak in the whole world, I’ve kissed so many vaginas you wouldn’t even believe it, I mean we’re talking thousands here, maybe millions. Anyway, we went to see Spring Breakers the other day and because it was the film I’d been looking forward to most this year, I Only Watch 18s said I could write the review, so here I am!

I’ll give you a bit of background to my anticipation for this flick first. Basically, I very much fancy Vanessa Hudgens, Selena Gomez and Ashley Benson, and I would love to meet their punces. However, because I’m a fucking big-shot nowadays I doubt I’ll ever bump into any of them at their low-rent, working class parties because I’ll be living it up at some big gala bash in Monaco, spitting out into some A-class thut or something. So I guess the next best thing would be to watch them in a film where they spend the majority of the running time in bikinis. Well, luckily Spring Breakers is that film. That’s why I was excited. (more…)

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