Tag Archives: bbfc

I Only Watch 18s Mithers The BBFC: Part III

So in my ongoing quest to become best friends with the BBFC, I’ve gone and sent them another email. They’re really good at answering emails, which is more to be said than my ex-girlfriend, who hasn’t answered any of the 40 emails I sent her yesterday. Frigid.

Anyway, I had a burning question in my loins, and I needed it answered before it set fire to my pubes, heated all the cum in my bollocks and sent a molten hot plume of deadly jizz through the letterbox. So here’s my email (click to enlarge):


It’s an important query, I think you’ll agree. Well, the lovely Debbie at the BBFC replied, and thus extinguished the inferno at the base of my penis. Here’s her answer:


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I Only Watch 18s Mithers The BBFC: Part II

So you’ll all probably remember a while back when I emailed the BBFC to address my concern about having recently watched a 15 with an erection in it (I had mistakenly believed it was an 18).

Well, I sent another email to them the other day because I couldn’t stop thinking about a problem that had entered my mind whilst sitting on the toilet (it was unrelated to shitting btw – it just so happened that I was doing that when I thought about it). Here’s the email (click on it to enlarge):


It’s an interesting question right? WELL IT IS TO ME.

Anyway, the helpful lot at the BBFC answered my question – here’s their response:


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The BBFC replied to my email

So a while back I sent the following email to the BBFC (click on it to enlarge):

And they’ve only fucking replied! Here’s their answer in full:

Dear I Only Watch 18s,


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I saw Under The Skin before it had been classified and I walked out sure that it would be an 18 and so told everyone that I’d seen it. I even included it in my Review of 2013. However, it’s been classified a 15 and so now I look like a pillock. This does not make me happy.

Why was I sure it would be an 18? Well, because it contains numerous visible erections. This is instant 18 territory right? Well, who knows? Did the BBFC miss them? I intend to find out, so I sent the following email to the BBFC:


Click to enlarge


I mean I already am a hero, but I would be EVEN MORE of one.

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So I was on Melon Farmers the other day, checking out what was going on in the world of film censorship (which is a very, VERY exciting world to me), when I stumbled, nay completely stacked it and landed from a great height with my legs either side of an iron bar, upon an interesting, nay fucking infuriating piece of information, nay blasphemy.  I was irked somewhat, nay so angry I could fist a blackbird. Somewhat.


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I Only Watch 18s Book Club: The Golden Age of Censorship

I normally don’t read fiction books – I usually limit myself to non-fiction books about films (obviously), swearing and/or ghosts.  However, The Golden Age of Censorship is fiction, but it is also about films (with particular emphasis on 18s) and it has swearing in.  I was about to write about how it didn’t have any ghosts in, but then I realised that it actually bloody does – this made me laugh.  Not audibly, I sort of shrugged my shoulders and I smiled – the kind of smile that if anyone caught me doing it on the bus might think I was a bus perv, but in the context of my bedroom is slightly less malicious.  Or maybe more.  It doesn’t help that I’m naked and have a knife in my hand I suppose. (more…)

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18 related anecdote no. 32

You might have seen the following picture online or in a magazine:

Well, I’d only ever seen it in my nightmares.  There’s a fucking dirty pink mark in the bottom right of the picture and it put the shits right up me.

This is because I have seen Travellers (review here) and to the best of my knowledge I had watched an 18.

BUT DON’T WORRY – click here (if you’re quick enough you might be able to suck up the poo that was on its way to bursting from your anus through sheer terror).

Panic averted.

You can put down the knife now.

Unless of course you were just using it to butter your toast.  You maniac.

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18 related anecdote no. 30

I was just on the BBFC website, and I noticed that the latest film they have classified as an 18 is called Wake Wood.  I have no idea what the film is about but I can only assume it is about men arising from their slumber in the morning.  Sounds boring.

However, it supposedly contains strong violence and gory images.  This seems at odds to its central narrative.

Oh maybe there are a few wet dreams in there.

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18 related anecdote no. 17

DVD Special Features

A Few years ago, Land of the Dead came out in cinemas.  It was about zombies so I wanted to see it.  However, it was a 15 so I sat at home drawing pictures of dicks instead.


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