Tag Archives: billy blanks

Another from the FRONT Magazine archives

HEY YOU WANKERS/TWATS/ARSEHOLES/FRIENDS! What are you up to at the moment? Picking Fruit Pastilles out of your vagina? Putting spaghetti down your bellend? Exactly. You should be doing something more constructive with your time, like reading the following awesome article written by me. It was featured in FRONT Magazine back when it was the best thing on planet earth, and is titled LIFE LESSONS FROM ACTION HEROES. Basically, it’ll tell you all you need to know about being an absolute legend in life. You know, like I fucking am.

Click on the piccy-wiccys to enlarge.

actionheroes

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Now, go forth and be LEGENDS.

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Hidden Tiger (1995)

Hidden_TigerFirstly, let’s get this out the way first – Tae Bo can suck a dick.

Another thing we need to get out of the way before I begin – I have never seen a Billy Blanks film that I haven’t enjoyed. Ok? Yeah? Happy with that? That’s what you’re dealing with here – I’m that guy.

So when me and a friend were walking about HMV farting and scoping out the honeys (result: the horror section stank of shit and there wasn’t a great deal of hot women in HMV) and I stumbled upon Hidden Tiger starring Big B, I was positively elated. It was also in the second-hand section so that meant it was 2 fucking quid – what a bargain eh? Now normally I’m a bit averse to second-hand DVDs because you don’t know what peado or person-that-likes-to-store-shits-inside-DVD-cases could have had it in their house before, but I thought I’d make an exception for Mr Blanks.

SO I BOUGHT IT AND WATCHED IT (there were no shits inside the case luckily). (more…)

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People I Like no. 4: Brion James

Here’s a guy whose name I’ll bet ten Tazos that you don’t recognise.  If you do, it’s no skin off my back – I’ve got loads of Tazos.  But if you don’t (which you won’t) then drop and give me ten.

So, you might not recognise his name, but I bet 5 series 2 rare pogs that you’ll recognise his face:

Yes?  Unlucky, gimme your pogs.  No?  Again, not an issue – I’ve got pogs coming out of my arse. (more…)

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