Tag Archives: class of 1999 II: the substitute

Classic 18: Class of 1999 (1990)

I’d like to tell you about a traumatic experience that I had back when I was at school.  One time me and my buddies were riding our motorcycles through the school, when we ran into our teacher, Ms. Connors.  Obviously, she was annoyed because we were riding our motorcycles inside the school corridors, but she was probably also jealous of my sweet tight jeans and boots and my friend’s cool leather jacket with studs in the collar  – you know what teachers are like.

Anyway, instead of just telling us off, she decided to make her arm melt to reveal a flamethrower and start trying to kill us with it.

Oh wait, no, I’ve got things mixed up here.  That was a scene from Class of 1999.  My mistake.  The actual traumatic experience involved someone pushing me while I was at the urinal and a bit of piss going on my trousers, but flamethrowing teachers are much more interesting, so we’ll focus on them today. (more…)

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