Tag Archives: deadball
So I know I didn’t really like Deadball, but I thought I’d try the other film with Tak Sakaguchi directed by the same bloke. Mainly because I got it for free and the trailer was better. Free stuff is always worth using, I mean the amount of posh wanks I had after getting the free bag of condoms post STI-test…
Anyway, Yakuza Weapon is about this bloke played by Sakaguchi who is the son of some mega Yakuza boss bloke, and he goes to try and take over the other gangster families or something (I think anyway – I don’t speak Japanese). Anyway, he’s fucking hard as fuck and he gets killed to fuck and back but he fucking comes back each fucking time because as I already fucking said, he’s hard as fuck.
But somehow, he still gets killed. So obviously, some scientists bring him back to life – technology is pretty advanced in Japan, you see. Only they don’t just bring him back to life, they bring him back to life with a huge chain-gun for an arm and a rocket-launcher in his knee. So now he’s even fucking harder than fuck than he fucking was before. Fuck. (more…)
The other day I reviewed Deadball, the Japanese horror flick about an insane game of baseball, and as you’ll recall, it was a pretty hilarious review. If I could email you guys incontinence pads I would, but technology isn’t that advanced yet so I guess you’ll have to deal with wetting your pants every time you visit this site.
Anyway, they’ve only gone and made another fucking horror movie about baseball; this one’s called Billy Club:
It looks pretty shit unfortunately, apart from the bit at 1.24 where the bloke jumps on the quad bike and it sounds like he does a really loud fart just as he lands. But I guess that only happens once in the film.
So yeah, there seems to be some sort of trend in sports-themed horror films emerging, or at least there is in my life at the moment – I only just bought I Know How Many Runs You Scored Last Summer too. As a result, I figured that was an easy segue into putting some of my fantastic ideas for sports-themed horror movies on the site. Add yours in the comments and the best one won’t win a prize. (more…)
So, these insane Japanese gore films are extremely hit and miss, a bit like my shits – some of them hit the bowl, some end on the seat, and others get hurled into the postman’s face. What I’m trying to say is that some are rubbish and others are good. I realise now that that anecdote made absolutely no sense but I was in the mood for telling you about my defecating habits ok? You can like it or lump it – a bit like my attitude to my shits. I like some of them, others I don’t take a fancy to and therefore lump with other people, usually through their letterboxes or in their backpacks.
Anyway, Deadball is one of these disgustingly extreme, mentally deranged and incomprehensibly preposterous Japanese gore films; only this time it centres itself around baseball. Now, I really haven’t seen many sport movies at all, because whenever I pick the DVDs up, all I can usually see is the reflection of a baby in the cellophane and so I have to put them back. So I jumped at the chance to watch a proper sports film 18.
Gutted me. It was pretty shit. A bit like one of my shits – shit. (more…)