Tag Archives: drive
I have already reviewed the 1997 Drive on this website, and although the 2011 Drive vibrated my arse-cheeks faster than my dick in a blender, the 1997 Drive still remains my favourite film ever. That is not, I REPEAT, NOT, to say that the 2011 Drive should be dismissed in any capacity. Think of it as 1997 Drive’s less attractive sister that you would nonetheless still penetrate. Don’t even get me started on a threesome.
So as you can tell, I fucking loved Drive. I suppose I better tell you why.
Drive is about this bloke who drives cars and does stunts and shit for the movies. He’s already pretty cool. However, at night he moonlights as a getaway driver. He’s now much cooler than you and all your shit mates put together. Then he gets involved with a right fitty who lives next door. He’s now so cool he can put ice cubes up his bum and they don’t even melt. Then it turns out he’s extremely proficient in the art of fucking kicking people’s heads in in elevators. He’s so cool now that if you touch him you’ll freeze and your balls will retract so quickly you’ll sick up two little frozen purple peas and your willy will shrink so quickly a bird will start attacking your bell-end because it thinks it’s a tiny snail.
Basically, he’s FUCKING COOL. (more…)
Drive is my favourite film. I’ve got it on director’s cut dvd, director’s cut vhs, and recorded off channel 5 (it’s got a different soundtrack). It’s amazing. If you consider me a friend (or just like what I’m about) then you need to see this film, because if you haven’t seen it, then I’m lying whenever I’m nice to you.
It’s so good in every possible way. Here’s ‘what goes down all up in this bitch’ (the synopsis):
There is a man who beats people up really easily. This is because he has a gadget in his heart that makes him really fast and strong. However, he doesn’t want it anymore (idiot), and has been promised loads of cash if he sells it to these blokes with beards. So off he goes to give it to them.
BUT IT AIN’T GONNA BE EASY.