Tag Archives: halloween

People I Like no. 9: John Carpenter

Next up on People I Like is our man John Carpenter, one of the greatest horror directors ever in my opinion.  And as we all know, ‘my opinion’ is another word for ‘fucking fact’ isn’t it? So let’s go:

Assault on Precinct 13 – So obviously I saw this when it was an 18. It was brilliant. Now it is a 15. It is shit.

Halloween – One of the absolute best slashers ever made (read my original review here), Halloween has been a favourite of mine for years. It also gave me the idea for one of my favourite hobbies – painting my face white and standing by 7 ft bushes until someone sees me out of the corner of their eye, then hiding behind it when they take a proper look. Really puts the shits up people. Especially babysitters.

 

 

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Classic 18: Halloween (1978)

It was Halloween the other day, and I was too busy trick-or-treating to write any reviews, so sorry.  Although it also seems everyone else was too busy to give me any fucking sweets.  I suppose it didn’t help that my costume was mangina-era Buffalo Bill, but whatever.  Anyway, as it was Halloween, I thought I’d take a look over one of my favourite horror films and swear about it a bit.

I’ve seen all the Halloweens that are 18s, and even if there’s not even as many wicked killings in the first one as the rest, I still like it the best.  That’s what I think, and in the confines of the padded cell that I call my bathroom, that’s all that fucking matters, buddy.

I first saw it when I was quite young, and it scared at least three pellets of shit from my quivering anus – it’s properly frightening and as an early example of the slasher movie, it’s pretty hard to beat.  Of course, it doesn’t bother me anymore because if ever I’m watching it and I start to feel a bit scared, I just pause the DVD, stand in front of the mirror and tense my biceps whilst screaming expletives – no fucker with a poncy white mask is gonna mess with these whips.

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