Tag Archives: liam neeson

Classic 18: Taken (2008)

I quite like Liam Neeson, but I never had him pinned as much of an action hero before I saw Taken. As a result, I’ll admit I wasn’t really excited about seeing it that much.  However, once the trailer hit my excitement peaked somewhat – it was after all, a revenge film, and as I may have mentioned in the past, I fucking right like revenge films, so I assumed I would like this.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, please put your hands together for the winner of Understatement of the Bloody Year.”

I FUCKING LOVED IT.  I MEAN, I REALLY REALLY FUCKING LOVED IT.

In case you didn’t know, Taken is about Liam Neeson, a bodyguard of sorts who lets his stupid daughter fly off to Paris with her silly mate.  Basically, they both get kidnapped and sold to the sex trade, and as a result of this, Liam Neeson gets FUCKING PISSED OFF and flies to Paris to bring all manner of harsh shit to these sex traffickers and their dicks.

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22 Bullets [L’Immortel] (2010)

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES OH GOD YES YES YES YES

You’ve outdone yourselves this time.

More of the same please.

Big pat on the back.

Winner winner chicken dinner.

If by now you hadn’t noticed, I thought 22 Bullets was downright sexually explosive in every possible way – this film was what those willy workout barbell things you get from shit joke shops were made for.

Yes, I was thoroughly pleased with everyone who was involved in making 22 Bullets and would like to take them out for a drink sometime.*

22 Bullets is the latest film by Europacorp, Luc Besson’s production company – you know, the one that can literally do no wrong (Kiss of the Dragon (18, amazing), High Tension (18, bloody good), Unleashed (18, tent-producing) and Taken (18, somebody help me there’s blood spraying from my eyes)).  But it’s Taken that is of most interest here, mainly because it’s by THE SAME PRODUCERS – uh oh!  But actually, they are quite similar, which can only be a good thing, seeing as Taken was one of the best films of 2008. (more…)

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A list of films coming in 2011 that better be 18s otherwise I’m gonna kick off.

So happy new year everyone!  Hope you’ve all got some new year’s resolutions – I have.  Fucking already broke it though – got really pissed on New Year’s Eve.  Although I suppose I broke it before the new year actually started, so I guess it doesn’t really count.  Anyway, alongside not getting pissed, not having sex with supermodels anymore (trust me, it gets really boring) and not leading on every woman that meets me and instantly falls in love with me, my main new year’s resolution is to watch EVEN MORE 18s.

Luckily, there are loads of films coming out in 2011 that sound cushty, so I’m gonna do a quick whip-through of the films I’m looking forward to and what I will do if they aren’t 18s.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon – I loved the transformers toys when I was a kid, but because the films have been 12s, I haven’t yet had the chance to see them – so fingers crossed for third time lucky.
What I will do if it is not an 18 – Go into the attic, get all my transformers toys, put them in a blender with some protein powder and drink it after maxing out the fucking bench press machine. (more…)

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