Tag Archives: nancy allen

Classic 18: Robocop

The two most famous robots/cyborgs in the world are the Terminator and Robocop.  At least in my world they are.  However, as The Terminator is now a 15 I have erased all memory of it and that hunk of shit can suck my dick and fuck off back to Terminatortron or wherever the fuck he lives.

That leaves Robocop.  Luckily he’s still an absolute legend.  And the film he’s in is absolutely legendary.  He’s so legendary he thought:

Robocop: “Oi mate, you know this film you’ve written about my life? The one called Policeman who gets shot loads and then gets brought back to life as a robot but still a policeman and has a gun in his leg which comes out whenever he wants?  Yeah, well I’m the star yeah?  So let’s just name it after me yeah?”

Screenwriter: “But I quite like that title – it does what it says on the tin.”

Robocop: “Dead or Alive, you’re coming with me.”

Screenwriter: “Wait, what?”

Robocop: [shoots screenwriter in groin] “Your move, creep.”

Screenwriter: “Jeez, we’ll call it Robocop!”

Robocop: “Thank you for your cooperation.”

Screenwriter: “You’re an actual twat Robocop.”

Robocop: “Excuse me, I have to go. Somewhere there is a crime happening.” (more…)

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