Tag Archives: ryan gosling
I have already reviewed the 1997 Drive on this website, and although the 2011 Drive vibrated my arse-cheeks faster than my dick in a blender, the 1997 Drive still remains my favourite film ever. That is not, I REPEAT, NOT, to say that the 2011 Drive should be dismissed in any capacity. Think of it as 1997 Drive’s less attractive sister that you would nonetheless still penetrate. Don’t even get me started on a threesome.
So as you can tell, I fucking loved Drive. I suppose I better tell you why.
Drive is about this bloke who drives cars and does stunts and shit for the movies. He’s already pretty cool. However, at night he moonlights as a getaway driver. He’s now much cooler than you and all your shit mates put together. Then he gets involved with a right fitty who lives next door. He’s now so cool he can put ice cubes up his bum and they don’t even melt. Then it turns out he’s extremely proficient in the art of fucking kicking people’s heads in in elevators. He’s so cool now that if you touch him you’ll freeze and your balls will retract so quickly you’ll sick up two little frozen purple peas and your willy will shrink so quickly a bird will start attacking your bell-end because it thinks it’s a tiny snail.
Basically, he’s FUCKING COOL. (more…)