Tag Archives: tak sakaguchi

Yakuza Weapon (2011)

So I know I didn’t really like Deadball, but I thought I’d try the other film with Tak Sakaguchi directed by the same bloke. Mainly because I got it for free and the trailer was better. Free stuff is always worth using, I mean the amount of posh wanks I had after getting the free bag of condoms post STI-test…

Anyway, Yakuza Weapon is about this bloke played by Sakaguchi who is the son of some mega Yakuza boss bloke, and he goes to try and take over the other gangster families or something (I think anyway – I don’t speak Japanese). Anyway, he’s fucking hard as fuck and he gets killed to fuck and back but he fucking comes back each fucking time because as I already fucking said, he’s hard as fuck.

But somehow, he still gets killed. So obviously, some scientists bring him back to life – technology is pretty advanced in Japan, you see. Only they don’t just bring him back to life, they bring him back to life with a huge chain-gun for an arm and a rocket-launcher in his knee. So now he’s even fucking harder than fuck than he fucking was before. Fuck. (more…)

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Deadball (2011)

So, these insane Japanese gore films are extremely hit and miss, a bit like my shits – some of them hit the bowl, some end on the seat, and others get hurled into the postman’s face. What I’m trying to say is that some are rubbish and others are good. I realise now that that anecdote made absolutely no sense but I was in the mood for telling you about my defecating habits ok? You can like it or lump it – a bit like my attitude to my shits. I like some of them, others I don’t take a fancy to and therefore lump with other people, usually through their letterboxes or in their backpacks.

Anyway, Deadball is one of these disgustingly extreme, mentally deranged and incomprehensibly preposterous Japanese gore films; only this time it centres itself around baseball. Now, I really haven’t seen many sport movies at all, because whenever I pick the DVDs up, all I can usually see is the reflection of a baby in the cellophane and so I have to put them back. So I jumped at the chance to watch a proper sports film 18.

Gutted me. It was pretty shit. A bit like one of my shits – shit. (more…)

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