Tag Archives: the terminator

I Only Watch 18s Mithers The BBFC: Part II

So you’ll all probably remember a while back when I emailed the BBFC to address my concern about having recently watched a 15 with an erection in it (I had mistakenly believed it was an 18).

Well, I sent another email to them the other day because I couldn’t stop thinking about a problem that had entered my mind whilst sitting on the toilet (it was unrelated to shitting btw – it just so happened that I was doing that when I thought about it). Here’s the email (click on it to enlarge):


It’s an interesting question right? WELL IT IS TO ME.

Anyway, the helpful lot at the BBFC answered my question – here’s their response:


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Classic 18: Robocop

The two most famous robots/cyborgs in the world are the Terminator and Robocop.  At least in my world they are.  However, as The Terminator is now a 15 I have erased all memory of it and that hunk of shit can suck my dick and fuck off back to Terminatortron or wherever the fuck he lives.

That leaves Robocop.  Luckily he’s still an absolute legend.  And the film he’s in is absolutely legendary.  He’s so legendary he thought:

Robocop: “Oi mate, you know this film you’ve written about my life? The one called Policeman who gets shot loads and then gets brought back to life as a robot but still a policeman and has a gun in his leg which comes out whenever he wants?  Yeah, well I’m the star yeah?  So let’s just name it after me yeah?”

Screenwriter: “But I quite like that title – it does what it says on the tin.”

Robocop: “Dead or Alive, you’re coming with me.”

Screenwriter: “Wait, what?”

Robocop: [shoots screenwriter in groin] “Your move, creep.”

Screenwriter: “Jeez, we’ll call it Robocop!”

Robocop: “Thank you for your cooperation.”

Screenwriter: “You’re an actual twat Robocop.”

Robocop: “Excuse me, I have to go. Somewhere there is a crime happening.” (more…)

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People I Like no. 6: Lance Henriksen

Here’s another ‘might not know his name – definitely know his face’ person.  A bit like me, I’m one of those guys, well to women anyway – they don’t know my name, but when they see me THEY KNOW WHO I AM.  I’ll walk past and they’ll say, “There’s Pendulum Man – he’s so dreamy!”  They call me pendulum man because of the way that my penis acts as a gigantic pendulum as I swagger past.

Anyway, Lance Henriksen (pendulum attributes pending) is one of my favourite actors, mainly because…YOU GUESSED IT!

If you didn’t, tough. (more…)

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