Tag Archives: troll hunter

Frightfest Round Up: Day 3

DAY 3

So, fresh from my rip-roaring rampage of rooting yesterday, I was ready for some more 18s and of course, a swift slice of ram round the back of the motherfucking bike sheds.

So first up was Troll Hunter;

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NOT A HAPPY BUNNY part 2

Fucking fuck this shit.  Literally fuck it.  Put your dick in it and FUCK it.  Open its arse, bend it over AND FUCKING FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF IT.

You may have noticed that I’m a bit angry.  Well, you’ll probably want to know why, no?

Basically, I was perusing the BBFC website today and JESUS HOLY FUCKING CHRIST there was some shit on it.  Take a little look at the following:

 

I assume this is some sort of joke right?  This is the bloody lads at the BBFC pulling a fast one isn’t it?  They’re larking about like a bunch of cheeky rogues aren’t they? What a gang of ripping legends pulling our legs eh?  What a naughty bunch of coconuts?

Wait, my phone’s ringing brb.

***

OH TURNS OUT IT’S NOT A JOKE.

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Frightfest Preview (Day 3)

Troll Hunter

Sounds like a film about me on a Saturday night when I’ve had too much to drink, but I don’t think this film is about that.  It’s actually about giant trolls – SOUNDS LIKE  A FILM ABOUT ME ON A SATURDAY NIGHT WHEN I’VE HAD TOO MUCH TO DRINK.  No, like actual gigantic, grotesque, monster trolls, like the ones from myths and legends – SOUNDS LIKE A FILM ABOUT ME ON A SATUR-

Sorry.

Yeah, Troll Hunter is one of those hand held camera movies, you know the ones:

“I’m going to document this event with my camera.”
“Good for you.”
“Oh shit, things are going wrong.”
“Uh oh, better put the camera down then”
“No way, I’m filming this.”
“That’s a stupid idea.”
“No it’s not, we need to document this.”
“No we don’t – if we do we’ll probably all die.  Look, there’s a fucking monster behind you.”
“Oh, shit, better film it.”
“PUT THE FUCKING CAMERA DOWN YOU IDIOT.”
“No! Ouch, it’s biting my leg.”
“If you put the camera down you could probably punch it in the face.  Ouch, there’s a monster biting me now – can you help me?”
“This is great stuff.”
“Can you put the camera down and fucking help me please?  This monster is killing me.”
“Great shot, this is brill.”
“Well done, I’m dying now – fuck you.”
“What a neat twist.”

And this time it’s about trolls so it’s not going to be an 18 so I’m probably going to down three pints of vodka and go troll hunting in town instead.

Excitement Rating: As excited as finding someone else’s jizz on my toothbrush.

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